My Gift - Poem

Poetry Writing does not come easy anymore, but once the dam breaks free my work is strong and unapologetic.

I still have plans to publish my poetry. I have so many plans...

Election Night - as told by a wild woman

I've mulled this post in my head all day/evening and have finally decided to say, why the hell not...even if no one reads your posts, it's out of your head.

I voted today. This is really nothing new. I vote every time there is an election. Why? It's not that I feel I have a voice that can change the tide; though now that I think of it, I might! I vote because 100 years ago, as a woman I would have been fighting for this right. This same right that we all take for granted. I vote in honor of every woman who stood for equality. I vote because my 89 year old Grandmother (who still lives alone) has not voted in years, due to the fact "It's so hard to work the machines" No amount of reasoning will convince her otherwise. They however, cannot take away my voice. Had I been of age during the suffrage I'm sure jail would have been my permanent address.

But enough about history. The future is tonight. I don't care who you voted for, unless it was Darth Vader, then I'm just mad I didn't write him in myself.

If your candidate won, congratulations. If your candidate lost, I'm sorry. The only thing that will change tomorrow is the date on the calendar. Complaining about the other party winning/losing will only add to the division this country is experiencing. Don't gloat. Don't pout. Get your ass up and move on. That is what American's do best...work through the issue and move on to the next.

I stand a proud, wild woman because I voted.

Love,

Mika

I am home - last night's awakening

I followed my mind, body and spirit last night. This is where it lead me.

     Another 1 AM nightly commute home, after so many years I know the road in my sleep. Tired of hearing the same drabble of songs I turn off the radio. On any other night, the silence would have terrified me - my thoughts, worries and frustrations scream at me as soon as silence appears. Not this night. My eyes fixed on the road, the yellow and white lines slowly guiding me home. My mind…silent, the only noise I register is the hum of the tires rolling on the blacktop. My heart is nearly empty…like a sponge wrung out to dry, I can feel it solidify. 

     Out of my stillness, a voice spoke to me…one I knew well and have spent my life ignoring. “Only when you are quiet will you find peace.” I knew those words, I had said them to myself many times. However, to make myself quiet is frightening; suddenly self-doubt, pain, rage and hopelessness take over…peace withdraws. 

     “Quiet and still” the voice spoke. I took a deep breath and listened. “Do not reconnect the dots of your memories – they have broken for a reason. Focus on now, focus on your happiness.”

Easier said than done, even if this is coming from my inner spirit. “This mind has been heavy for too long…seek peace.”

     When my vehicle stopped I had unknowingly driven to my childhood home; now empty. I let my feet direct me. Up the mountain side, in the still of this balmy November night I trekked to my favorite place. I reached the rocks, pulled my shoes off and stuck my feet in the cold creek bubbling beside me. My sense of hearing, touch and smell were guiding me to my destination… there was no need for sight.

     “Embrace this moment. Allow your heart to fill with your first love…nature. Allow your mind to be inspired by the beauty. Allow your spirit to rise above the tree top. Do this and you shall be whole.” Her voice drifted from my mind…I fell to my knees, hearing the leaves crackle below me, feeling the earth hold me, and breathing in air for what seemed to be the first time. I embrace that which I had fought for so long. I am home.

Mika Buell

November 5, 2015

I'm back!

Not many knew I was gone, but for better or for worse I am back!

"But Mika, where oh where have you been?"

I'll tell you my dear inquisitive friends. I have been here, there and everywhere. A traveling, writing, progressing wild woman as it were. I've spent hours, days and weeks hidden deep inside myself - looking for the core of Mika. I have emerged to claim 2015 has been the best year of my life in years. I celebrated a promotion I've been vying for and managed to keep my wits about me through some rocky times. I've spent most of this time...on the road.

Between a unforgiving winter, my parents farm and traveling, I have spent more hours behind the wheel than anywhere else (except sleeping of course!).

I leave you with photos - of course. I call this collection the long and winding road *cue The Beatles

 

My forever sidekick, Frida Kahlo. :)

Much love,

Mika

Margarita's Place

  *

Margarita has a place

at the corner of sorrow and regret

I visit her daily

under the neon lights and lonely guitar's howl

"Baby girl, you don't belong here" Margarita disapproves

"I belong nowhere if not in his arms." as I take my corner booth

She pats my shoulder and leaves me to the dark

Another night alone with a broken heart

Lesser men have tried

to sooth the pain

There is more behind a pretty face

But I'm just another bed post notch to their "game"

Margarita's place is where the lonely meet

To drown their anger in a poison of choice

Yet I take the darkest corner

Dying to forget the memory of his voice.

© Mika Buell

March 26, 2014

*note for artwork. Edgar Degas, L'Absinthe, 1876

New Years Day 2014 plus my word

Happy New Year everyone! Also Happy Anniversary to my precious blog. The lifeline for my random mind. 2013 is finally OVER. I thought 2012 was rough...it can get much worse, trust me.

I'm ready to start 2014 with the beautiful souls I surround myself with. Over the past year I have cut  several people out; my health and happiness has improved tremendously as a result. I plan on focusing on what is most important to me this year...my friends, boyfriend, writing and photography.

If you've read previous New Year posts you know I pick one word to describe what I want to feel/accomplish/change during the year. My first word (in 2012) was "Blossom". My art and writing did exactly that. 2013's word(s) "Move Forward" it literally took the entire damn year, but it happened. I'm happy to announce my word for 2014 is "Abundance"Cited

I have an abundance of love and creativity within me - all too often I take it for granted. When I look at my life right now, I'm thankful and humble at the abundance of positive influence everywhere I turn. I take nothing for granted, as I have just crawled out of Hell.









I love you all and I hope 2014 is your BEST year yet!

xoxox

Mika.

Famous dead men

Edgar Allan Poe

 A random moment of clarity...I've always been infatuated with famous dead men. After all these years I now know why...they cannot disappoint or hurt me. 

Not only this, but I can know their life from beginning to (often tragic) end. Dead people are more intriguing to me than some that live. 

Unless you're a lover of history or a deceased artist's work I do not expect you to understand. 

Not even sure I do.

Ernest Hemingway

Egon Schiele

Edgar Degas

Ezra Pound

Oskar Kokoschka