Forever Fifteen

I get to this point every now and then...where I have to let the demons out and hate doing so because I always piss someone off. I don't care today. I will not apologize for this post. If you are offended by a real blog post - then go back to reading the prefabricated shit you prefer. This is who I am...this is what I do.

For the rest of the readers I didn't lose (lol) if you look deep in your heart you will find a time in your youth that changed you. Dramatically. That's exactly what this poem is about.

I offer no remorse for my feelings and will not deal with drama.

Forever Fifteen

I'm still 15 years old
Heart broken and distressed
fresh wound

I'm the same girl
with the same heart
salty tears

My 15 year young soul
has long been lost.
too many pills

Pills to remember
how to forget-
the breaking inside

Before years of attempted suicide
and the meds that followed
I was whole

Somewhere inside I'm 15
inspired by joy and tragedy-
but ever motionless

When the pills don't work
I'm a hollow shell

I crawl inside to be 15
to contemplate another try-
gas, water or gun.

Pick your poison, love

I always find my way out of Hell
to the realities of life

The thought is ever inside.

First mixed media art in months.