Monday, October 24, 2011

Lost in the Woods

It has been a soul searching kind of day. I'm debating on making this a two part blog post for the shear fact it's going to be a lot of info and photos from about 1 hour of my life.

It all started a couple of weeks ago. My husband found my "Creators on Creating" book from my Creativity 101 class. Just holding the book brought back memories of leaving Kentucky to live on my own in Nashville. I didn't know a single soul there. Yes, it scared the hell out of me but it was invigorating. Memories of Watkins College of Art and Design and how much I loved all of my classes. The building itself screamed "INSPIRE" as the school was an old movie theater. Unfortunately I had to return to Kentucky and settled down with the company I still work for nearly 8 years later. I didn't feel like I had given up on my dreams. I had to grow up and face reality that bills come before art. 8 years later I still have the drive to create. I spend almost every free moment in a whirlwind of inspiration.

I took a little ride to the park outside of town today. It was beautiful. Leaves covered the ground, the sun was shining bright and the wind was soothing, it was the perfect autumn day. I picked my spot carefully. At the edge of the park was a picnic table next to the creek. I unloaded my arms and opened "Creators on Creating" looking for the perfect phrase, paragraph or sentence that explained myself and this moment in time.

I found "Lost in the woods" by Cathy Johnson. The title was perfect, for I was lost in the woods both physically and metaphorically. I dedicate this paragraph to every soul searching - creative being and most of all; I dedicate it to myself.

"Wandering is the best way I know to feed that flame, to answer those questions. Wandering - but with a conscious step, an openness to experience. "Wandering" may sound aimless, a flotsam and jetsam drift, but it is as purposeful in its way as the migration of monarchs each fall. Like their erratic, drifting flight, it only looks aimless taken a step at a time. In the larger picture a good wander is a search for questions, for the answers that lead inevitably-and happily-to more questions. I may not see the pattern if I look only at individual shards with their cryptic, broken markings, turning them over in my mind, but from the perspective of time my wandering is as intentional as the butterfly's, and as necessary. It is taking me where I most need to go, allowing room for growth and time for learning."
"When, instead, I become too single-minded and go-oriented, straight ahead, one foot in front of the other, I might as well be a robot or a computer. Humanity fades; the joy is gone."
Reading this was the equivalency of lighting a fire under my ass as my eyes were opened for the first time. This explained everything to me... why I never give up on my passion and desire, why I am not content just doing the daily grind of working 40 hours a week. There is more within me that is fighting to be free.

As always in my center of creativity...I wrote a poem. It isn't typical of my style and that's the beauty of it. I wrote from my heart and not from my head. It's kinda rough around the edges but the meaning is sweet as honey.

"Lost in the woods"

The perfect seat
on a Autumn afternoon
My solitude brings clarity
and opens my eyes.

The slight breeze
sweeps through the trees
The sunlight shimmers
as it dances off my skin.

The sound of leaves
crunching underfoot
Brings not sadness
but a sense of home.

The laughter of families
ring in my ears
In a world so cruel
we can still find peace.

The beauty of this moment
I will remember forever
Bottled in my heart
as I am lost in the woods.

Second part to come soon.



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